Remember More Than You'd Like to Forget
by One Nation Under GOD
Summary: This is my first fanfic. Raven finds out about Beast Boys Past.RavBB.There is more to him then Raven ever imagined.Please tell me what you think.Also RobStar Cy?
1. Bad Dreams and Worse Memories

I redid this chapter so it might be easier to read. Please tell me what you think about it and about the story line too.

This is the first Fan Fiction I have ever written. If there is something wrong then please tell me. I won't get mad. I'll take as much help as I can get.

I don't own any thing.

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_"Do you have to go mom?" the little boy begged his mother with tears in his eyes.  
"Yes, you know that. Whats wrong we go out all the time and you don't get this upset."  
"I dunno something just feels wrong."The boy whimpered_

_"Everything is going to be fine son. Listen to your mother Garfield shes right we'll be back in a few hours safe and sound."_

_Gar hung his head in defeat he had been trying to get them to change there minds since he found out they were going out yesterday.  
_

_"Cheer up we should get some good stuff today and maybe some pictures for you." The man said tring to cheer his son up._

_"Its time to go know. Mr. and Mrs. Logan" An older man called to them.  
_

_"Goodbye son." His dad said placing his hand on his shoulder. "Goodbye" he whispered back. Then his mother bent down and gave him a hug. "We'll be carefull okay.Now can I have a kiss for luck?" The boy just stared at the ground. "Okay. Then goodbye.And be careful while we're gone." The hurt clear in her voice. She got up and started to walk away.  
_

_When they got several yards away the boy started to cry. WAIT! He yelled, he ran to them and flung himself at them. His mother picked him up and hugged him. He squeezed her with all his might._

_"I'm sorry he sobbed into her shoulder." he started shaking uncontrollably and his mother rocked him back and forth. When he finaly quieted down a little he said  
"I'm sorry ma please don't go I know something bad is gonna happen please!"_

_"Gar its okay. We have to go."  
When hi tears were almost dried up.She asked "Now can I have my kiss goodbye?" He gave his mom a kiss. "I love you mom."  
"Oh I love you to. And hey look at me" she waited till he looked her in the eye.  
"We are coming back do you hear me. We are. We'll be fine okay."_

_He nodded reluctantly even though he didnt belive his mothers words.  
__  
She got up and his dad knelt down beside him. "You have to be strong son be a man." That was a funny thing to say to a seven year old he thought but that was like his dad, he told him stuff like that all the time. He thought it was because his dad wanted him to be strong and not let things like this get to him so it wouldn't worry his mother.  
He might be seven but he wasnt stupid._

_"Okay" he said. a little more confidently than he felt.  
His dad gave him a hug and got up and started to walk away.  
_

_"I love you dad!"Gar cried the tears returning to his eyes and threatening to spill over at any moment.  
The man stopped and turned around. And looked at his son.  
"I love you too."  
  
Then turned around and jumped aboard the boat. He helped his wife aboard and after telling the captin they were ready the boat started to leave. The couple stood at the rail watching there son.  
  
He waved and they waved back, his mother blowing kisses to him.  
He stood watching them leave and he knew it was forever.  
He stood there with silent tears streaming down his face.  
  
And then it happened what he was waiting and dreading to happen ever since he started having this feeling happened in one life altering moment every thing was taken from a small helpless child. The boat they were on blew up right in front of him taking all he had with it_.

* * *

Beast boy screamed as he shot up in bed he was drenched in a cold sweat he couldn"t breath at first. He felt like mammoth had hit him in the chest again. He finaly gasped for breath being able to take in some much needed air he started gulping in air to fill his burning lungs and still his spinning head.

It was that dream again, the one that brought all those memorys that he wanted to forget back. he felt like all the stuff in the dream had just happened to him.

The pain was so intence he felt like screaming again but he knew that he would be fortunate if the first one hadn't woken the reast of the Titans up, he wasn't about take a chance on doing it again. He did'nt wan't them to know all his secrets.  
  
B. B. open up! Cyborg yelled knocking so hard Beast Boy was sure the door would fall down at any second.

No such luck he thought I already woke them up. But then again he didn't belive in luck.  
  
He hoped out of bed and rushed over to the door and opened it before he needed a new one from all cys banging.  
  
"Beast Boy are you okay." Robin was on full alert ready for anything.

"Yes friend Beast Boy are you well?"  
Starfires consern made Beast Boy uncomfortable he felt he didn't deserve it.  
Yes Star I'm okay.

"Well what happened! Cyborg asked.

"Bad dream." Beast boy replied drily.

"Now can I go back to bed?" "But of course Beast Boy we were only worried that something was harming you ."(A.N. Its hard to write the way Starfire talks LOL)  
  
"Yeah BB you don't have to be so rude man."  
They all walked away to there own rooms mumbling about how rude Beast Boy was.

He shut the door and turned around he knew he'd never get back to sleep again. Not sure if he wanted to. He looked at his alarm clock it read 2:34am.

"Aw man." He muttered to himself as he sat at his desk and got out a pad of paper.  
He rumaged through a drawer till he found what he was looking for and then turned back to his desk.  
  
"Is there something I can help you with?" he asked semingly no one.  
  
"How did you know I was here?" a voice asked from the shadows.  
  
"I know whenever your around." he replied .  
  
"I don't know wether to take that as a complament or an insult." Raven said walking out of the darkness.  
  
"you may not belive me but I meant it in a good way.  
  
" I belive you."She wondered what he meant by what he said.It made her feel embarressed for some reason she didnt know.  
  
"So you gonna tell me what you wanted?" He asked  
  
"You gonna tell me what's bothering you?"  
  
"Oh that."  
  
"Well?" she prompted.  
  
"Its a long story." he said.  
  
"My favourite kind."She told him encouragingly.

"Are you sure you wanna know? I don't want to burden you with anything."

He is not at all what he seems sometimes. He seems so annoying and stupid all the time.

"There is alot more to you then what you let on isn't there?"  
"Why do you act the way you do if your not really like that?"

"How do you know what I'm like?"  
"I have made sure that none of you know anything about me."  
"That all you see is that annoying pest. I have to be that guy if I'm going to get through every day with all this guilt I feel and not make you guys worried or upset."

"What do you feel guilty about?" She asked she was shoked from what he had just said to her. "You can tell me. I want to help you."

He looked in her eyes. It seemed he was trying to tell if he could trust her.  
He was surprised she even cared but not in a bad way he was glad she cared.  
He didn't want to admit it but he needed someone to talk to.

"What do you want to know?"  
  
"What ever you need to tell me."  
  
This is why he loved Raven she always seemed to know what people were feeling.  
Even though she couldn't

He wished he could trade places with her so she could feel.  
So she could feel what its like to read a sad book and cry, or watch a funny movie and laugh. And more then anything he wished she could love, even if it wasn't him that she loved.

He new that love was the best thing you could feel and there were two kinds of love.  
He wanted her to feel GODs love most,  
but he also wanted her to feel his love for her and maybe return it.

He knew it wasnt impossible for her to feel just that she couldn't with out destroying something and she wouldnt alow herself to do that.

"Beast boy please tell me."  
Pleading with someone was not something she was used to doing and she didnt like it, but she really wanted to help  
Like it or not she had actually started haveing feelings for the green shape shifter.

He remained silent staring at his desk.

"Okay fine be that way. She got up and turned to leave.

" I guess it would be better if you heard this from the begining."

He said finale giving in to the need to tell some one. After all these years of holding every thing in he was starting to wonder if he was going crazy cause he knew it deffinatly was't healthy.

She turned back around and and sat on the edge of his bed to listen.

"I was three when my mom and dad moved us to Africa so they could study animals for there reaserch.  
We had lived there for two years When this deadly diseas swept through the whole continent.(A.N. I am just making this up)

It killed thousands. Everyone who got it died."

He looked up at Raven. She was giveing him her full attention.  
He wasn't used to that. No one ever paid that much mind to him. Nothing he said ever even earned him half there attention unless they were mad at him.

"Then I got it."

He watched her when he said this wanting to see her reaction.

Most people probably couldn't see her reactions but thats because they didnt pay attention like he did.

He was used to her suttle shows of emotion.  
So suttle that they wouldnt set her powers off.

She blinked a couple of times and looked away for a second.

"But obviously I didnt die or I wouldnt be sitting here."  
He said trying to lighten the mood.

She resumed staring at him waiting for him to continue.

"At first I didnt belive I was sick. I hadnt felt sick at all I felt normal.  
But then I got really sick one day."

* * *

Thank you for reading I appreciate you spending your time reading my story I really hpe you liked it. I will continue the story if you want me to.

Please tell me what you think.


	2. Mistake or Miracle

Thank you for reading my story your reviews were very much appreciated. Sorry this chapter is so short I'll try to make it longer next time.

Oh and just to clearify something when I said I was makeing this up I didn't mean the entire story or even that part I meant that it wasn't really true like in real life. It was just a part of Beast Boys past that some one else made up not me.

Thanks for reviewing I hope you like this chapter

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"I knew everyone was scared, they knew I was going to die. They would talk about it amongst them selves like they did when ever anyone got it. No one said anything in front of me though they only said that I was going to get better.But I knew that wasn't true. So one day I got sick of them lieing to me and I told them to stop. They were so shocked that they just stared at me with their jaws dropped open.

I knew I was gonna die too but I wasn't scared because I knew I was going to go to heaven to meet my heavenly Father. And when I got to heaven I was going to be okay again and I would never feel pain ever again.

I was worried about my parents though.

They were sad which was understandable but they were also so depressed.

Then.....well I'm not sure how it happened. My dad hadn't been around for the last few days.

I thought he was mad at me for something.

Then one night he burst into my room like a madman.

He grabed me up and carried me out of the house. I didn't know where he was taking me.He just kept saying 'It will work it has to work' Over and over.like a broken record he sounded...............insane thats the only word i can think of to describe him that night. He had dark circles under his eyes.

That was the only time I ever remember being afraid of my dad."

Raven could tell this was getting hard for him.

"He took me into the woods to this building I had never seen before.He carried me inside and strapped me to a table in the corner of the room. He was saying something like he was talking to me but he wasn't talking to me. It was like he was talking to himself. He turned around for a minute and when he turned back he had a syring in his hand. I remained silent threw all of this to shocked and worried to say anything. I wasn't afraid of shots. having traveled as much as I had I had had so many already it didn't even faze me anymore. But that was when I knew what the shot was for and what it was gonna do. This one scared me it scared me alot. I knew it would change everything."

She still hadn't said anything.

"He gave me the shot and nothing happened.

not at first."


	3. What was Once and What is Now

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY STORY! YOU LIKE ME YOU REALLY LIKE ME! LOL THANKS AGAIN YOUR REVIEWS REALLY MEAN ALOT I LOVE READING THEM!

Sorry for taking so long. I hope you like this chapter. If there are any mistakes(Which I hope There aren't but who knows its almost midnight and I'm tired so there very well could be) Tell me what you think.

By the way do you have to put a diclaimer on ever chapter or only on the first?

Oh well. I don't own Teen Titans But I am a big fan

Have any of yall seen those bobble head things they have of them at the store they're really cute I have Beast Boy and Robin my twin sister (Whom is older than me by One minute and likes to flaunt it in my face and call me little sister even though I'm Taller Than her.......Um.......sorry gettin off track of what I got off track on to begin with)has Cyborg but we can't find Raven or Starfire any where.

Well thats enough of that you guys are here to read my story not about some bobble head and my hieght compaired to my sisters so if you're still here. Thank you you are very kind and patient peole to put up with me SORRY on with the story if you still wanna read it now LOL.

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"We were waiting for something to happen when mom came running through the door. She was cring and looked hysterical she screamed at him "What have you done, what have you done!" I didn't fully know what was happening but the state my mom was in scared me even more then the shot had.

She ran over to me and untied me but my dad stopped her he told her something about not knowing what effect this would have on me and having no idea what my reaction would be.

I couldn't concentrate on what they said because the shot had just taken effect. It didn't creep up on me or slowly start to work. It came full force all at once or so I thought at the time. I didn't think the pain could get any worse. The pain was so intense but it kept getting worse I tried to curl up in a ball but my dad had retied my binds I could barely move. all I wanted was for the pain to stop I looked up at my parents barely able to make out there faces my dad didn't look crazy anymore he looked scared,sad,angry,and guilty all at the same time. My mom was cring again and squeezing my hand. Then a whole new wave of pain shot through my body the worst pain yet and I guess It was too much for me to take I don't remember anything after that I blacked out.

When I woke up I was like this he said gesturing to the green coloring of his skin and hair."

Raven was shocked, she had thought he had always been a changeling. She had no idea he was human.Absent mindedly she began to wonder what he looked like before all this happened and wht he would look like know if it never would have happened.She wondered what color hair he had and about his eyes and if they were always green or if they too had changed color.

She shook her head tring to clear her mind. When she noticed the silence and looked up, he was looking at her with a thoughtful expression on his face. She felt her face grow hot she knew she was blushing but she had her hood down and it was too late to try and hide it he had already noticed the red coloring that was spreading over her beautiful face.

"Whats on yoour mind Rae...er Raven."

She got even redder she hadn't thought that was possible but she saw it was from her reflection in a window above Beast Boys' desk.

"I never knew you were a human she said." Tring to stay clear of admitting the rest of her thoughts.

"Is that all?" He asked with a mischeivious grin on his face that made her squirm. He had a farelly good idea of what was on her mind.

"No." She said finally being able to control her embarrasment.

"I was wondering what you looked like...before."

He got a funny smile on his face.

"Well I had black hair and brown eyes and a dark complexion due to being out in the sun all day every day.

Here I have a picture if you wanna see it. I don't know how I managed to hold on to it all these years after everything............."

He trailed off.

"Sure I'd love to see it." she said thinking to her self that that wasn't the end of his story, not by a long shot.

He handed her the photograph. It was burned around the edges and was ripped on one corner.

She gently took the picture from his out streached hand. she looked down at the picture she now held ih her hands and examined the people looking back at her.

There were three, a man a woman with a little boy between them.

The man was handsome. He had blonde hair and the most beautiful piercing blue eyes she had ever seen untill she looked down at the little boy.

His eyes looked like they were staring straight through you. Like they could tell everything about you in one glance. He had straight black messy hair that was hanging over his forehead and eyebrows. His hair was down to his collar.And he did have a very dark tan. And he had a huge smile on his face that lit up his eyes.

And his Mother was beautiful she had waist long black hair and dark brown almost black eyes. And she wore glasses.

"She's Beautiful." Raven said after a minute.

"I know." Beast Boy said So are you he thought.

"Hard to belive thats me huh?' He joked

"Not really you still have the same eyes only a different color."

"Huh?" Beast Boy said confussed

"Your eyes look like they can tell anything about you. Like you can see who they really are inside behind the masks we wear to protect ourselves"

"Not like Robins mask, at least not the one he wears over his eyes but like yours."

"Yeah." she said thinking that he understood more and went deeper than anyone gave him credit for.

"What Happened to your parents?" She asked out of the blue.

It was such a sudden change in topic it surprised him for a second. But only a second.

He knew she'd ask that sooner or later. 'They're dead." He said emotionlessly.

It was such a brisk ansewer that it almost felt cold to Raven.

But the look in his eyes said different.

She must of had a strange look on her face because he rushed on to explain.

"Its not that I don't care Raven." he said

"I think about it evey day Like its burned into my brain."

He stopped unsure if he shold go on or not.

"You can tell me anything Beast Boy. Raven said. She wanted him to open up to her to share everything with her.

He looked at her trying to deside if he was ready to tell anyone.If he told her she might hate him.

Before he had a chance to make a choice the alarm went off. Beast Boy glanced at the clock be fore running out the door. It was 4:53am.

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Please let me know what you think.

THANKS FOR READING

BYE 4 NOW AND GOD BLESS YOU, AMERICA OUR TROOPS AND EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	4. What now?

I am SO sorry there was something wrong with my computer when I turned it on it just went to a screen with a bunch of stuff saying a bunch of stuff I didn't really understand. It said I could reinstall windowsfrom cdromor something but when I tried that it said it couldn't open a file and so it couldn't finish that all started in september and so last month (I think) I called the tech support number or what ever its called and they said maybe the cds needed to be cleaned so I cleaned them and I was so mad at myself I couldn't believe that was the only thing wrong.

So maybe youwon't be too mad at6 me seeing as how I do have an excuse. Sorta well if your still willing to read my story here is a little of what I have written Its not very long but my mom told me to get off the internet know and I will post more later I promise. And I never break my promises.

I didnt own teen titans when I started this and I still don't

by the way sorry if there are any mistakes i was in a hurry.

* * *

When they got to the main room all the other Titans were already there.

"there's a robbery in progress at some research center on the edge of town." Robin told them as soon as everyone was present.(A.N. okay I know Robin would know exactly what kind of reaserch center it was and so should I but I just don't know what to put right know I'm sorry!)

"well what are we waiting for." Cyborg said

"Titans Go" Of course this was Robin They all headed down to the garage

Cyborg hopped in the drivers seat of his "baby"

Raven getting in the front passenger seat.

Robin got on his R-Cycle and handed Starfire a helmet before putting his own on. She climed on the back and he took off followed by CyborgBeast boy morphed into a Hawk and flew into the night sky.

From his place in the sky he saw the research(sp?) center first. He flew toward the ground and changed back to his normal form before he hit the ground.

He landed on his feet and looked toward the building it looked completely empty no sign of any disturbance of any kind.

He waited for the others to arrive before he checked the inside because he knew that Cyborg and Robin espescially the later would have his head.

After a minute he heard them coming and a moment later they pulled in and jumped out of or off of there respected vehicals.

They started walking to the building and since Beast Boy was closer he got there first again. He tried the handle but the door was locked tight.

"It is very quiet perhaps they already left?" Starfire observed

"We still need to check it out." Robin informed them.

'As if we didn't already know that.' Raven thought a little erratated

He reached for the door

"I already tried that." Beast Boy told him

But he tried anyway.

Which offended Beast Boy a little but he brushed it off

"It's locked." Robin said

"Dude I just said that." Beast Boy said getting a little angry

"I was just makeing sure." Robin said

"What now I'm untrustworthy? Or am I just to dumb to know the difference between a locked and unlocked door! How do I survive at all if I'm so stupid! Maybe next I'll forget how to breath!" Beast Boy yelled Really angry now.

"Beast Boy...just... calm down... thats not what I meant." The Boy Wonder stammered

They were all more than just a little surprised at his out burst.

Beast Boy ignored him ad walked up to the door and suddenly kicked it in and walked over the door that lay broken in the doorway.

They all stared after him then looked at each other and followed Beast Boy into the dark building.

"looks like nobody's home." Cyborg said

"No really I hadn't noticed." Beast Boy said sarcasticly

"Dude, what is your problem!" Cyborg demanded stepping infront of Beast Boy

"Maybe I'm not the one with a problem." Beast Boy said getting in Cyborgs face.

"Knock it off!" Robin said

They both reluctantly stepped down.

"What does he want them to knock off?" Starfire asked confused

"He wants them to stop fighting" Raven told her

"Oh. well then why did he not just say that."

"Never mind Star I'll tell you later." Robin said

They continued through the building.

There was a sudden movement from the other side of the room.

"Titans Go!" Robin yelled.

* * *

Well is it okay is it too different then the other chapters?

I'm sorry if B.B was too mean. I don't know why I made him that way I guess it was just the mood I'm in. If you think I should change it I will.

I have a general Ideah of where thie story is going but I don;t know how its gonna end

God is in control

Jesus Loves you

Is the feeling mutual?


End file.
